Intimacy is something that must be cultivated. If your home is anything like mine, there is always something else that needs to be done. Chores, errands, chauffeuring, bills, breakfast, lunch, dinner, yeah, you know this shtick all too well. In fact, sometimes, the everyday business of running a household can try to crowd its way in on the romance department and be counteracting the intimacy you are trying to develop. Excuses of being too tired, having too much to do, or not feeling well are real enough, but are they becoming more the norm than the exception? If you can use a little help on how to intentionally carve more time and energy into your day for your spouse, here are a few tips and guilt reducers:
- Put the kids in bed at least an hour before you and your spouse will turn in. Even with 1/2 hour to prepare lunches for the next day, fold laundry, or put away dishes, you still end up with 1/2 hour just to yourselves. Better yet, let the laundry wait, and take the whole hour together. time would be much worse for your children to deal with than an earlier bedtime each night.
- Before leaving each other for the day, carve out two minutes to pray and one minute to simply hug and hold each other. Feeling the physical connection between the two of you each morning can build couple intimacy, even when time together will often involve family life.
- Slip a love note into your husband’s lunch, briefcase, or wallet. Just thinking about him enough to write a little something will be a blessing to him, and taking the time to think of what to write will help you to grow in feelings of love and appreciation for him.
- Pop in a DVD for the Kids. You may feel “touched out” by the end of the day, and with children demanding all of your physical energy, it is no wonder that you may feel drained. However, the marriage relationship grows in pleasure and intimacy when the physical continues to be nourished between husband and wife. So, to help gain time to do this, pop in a DVD the kids will be engrossed in watching, and slink off to your bedroom, send the kids to grandmas or to bed extra early on purpose, or set the alarm earlier in the morning, and don’t forget to “sleep-in” if you get the chance on a day you are both home from work. This is important time for you both to recharge and grow together.
- Go to Church at a place where the children have their own service, and spend time worshiping and hearing God’s Word with your spouse. I used to feel guilty and scared to send the kiddos off with “strangers,” but when you know that the church has done background clearance checks, the kids are being taught at an age-appropriate level and enjoying themselves, and you and your husband get an hour or so to breathe, hold hands, and worship together to God, well….the benefits are huge. Your children will see that you put a priority on your own relationship with God and with each other, they will learn to grow in the Lord and have their lives poured into by other Christians, and you and your husband can regroup for the week ahead, knowing that if you Seek First the Kingdom of God, all these things shall be added unto you!
What have you found to be helpful in your marriage? Please tell us in the comments below.
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